From the desk of Mr. Holmes.

"Excellent!" I cried.

If only the world were an Arther Conan Doyle book. Of course, I would play the part of Mr. Holmes and my setting would not be the murky marshes of the English country side. Oh no, Watson! My setting will be the urban jungles of the world. I would travel from place to place and deduce great things such as whether or not a restaurant is worth eating at by examining the quality of the table cloth. Next, I shall jet set my way towards Jamaica and size up the margarita infestation and decide that the real culprit is the little umbrella that everyone so desires. The real issue will be finding out the true motivations of the people. Why, a single traveler can have as many as eight evil thoughts a minute! Now what do you say about that Watson? Quit right, it should be talked about. Why, I think that all the travelers of the world should have to go through a thorough screening process in which they answer the following questions;

1. Are you going to cause any intentional harm to the plane or its passengers?

2. Will you be bringing anything that resembles basic toiletries with you?

3. If you could pick one thing to take with you, then what would it be?

If the answers to the following are no, yes and a pair of knitting needles, then that person is an obvious threat to the other passengers. Do you know what kind of damage you could do with a knitting needle Watson? Just a quick stab to the jugular and that is it! Lights out for the victim. Oh, and Watson, make a note that I intend to send a letter to the flight officials that more intensive measures should be taken such as the physical molestation of the elderly, children, and the obese. That should teach the wanted felons to try and get on my plane. I will feel much safer knowing that every time I go to travel about, someone is going to break my barrier of appropriateness. Because, after all Watson, what would the world be if it wasn't for such blatantly unnecessary discomforts added to society?

*More from the desk of Mr. Holmes to come soon. Next letter to address the fallacy that is black and white movie romances. Write to Mr. Holmes and he will try and solve your mystery.